The Final Taboo 💔
In a recent survey of 2000 mothers, over 200 admitted to being estranged from one or more of their children. Most of whom feel broken, with their lives on hold. There’s nowhere to mourn, nobody to talk to – who could understand the vicious cycle of self blame and the heart wrenching devastation of a mother grieving the loss of a living child?
Whilst I’m a great advocator for undoing the damage of the past by reparenting ourselves, connecting to our inner child with loving kindness. Distancing from a toxic parent is hard but for some it’s a prerequisite to growth and healing. AKA Adult Orphans – who’s parents are an unhealthy and destructive influence.
This is the other side of that coin.
When children grow into cruel, narcissistic, uncaring and abusive adults.
I’m not often shocked but this 10% stat threw me, I discovered many cases of narcissistic abuse from the adult child, leaving the mother with the pain of loss and shame – after all she must have done something awfully wrong, right? Well, actually no. Children being brainwashed by the ex – or their partner – is all too common. There are swathes of heartbroken women, afraid to go out because the pain of seeing happy families is just too much.
Grief is a natural healing process, it can also be devastating, debilitating and dark. Sometimes the pain engulfs, whilst purifying the heart, it leaves us weak, diminished and unable to function. Walking around, hunched shoulders, heart bleeding, all consuming.
There are support networks for grieving mothers of living children. If you are one of the silent ten percent, please don’t dread special occasions and suffer alone, there’s a world of support, no judgement, waiting for you (see links below).
Nobody should hurt without help. Especially a mother who’s done her best to be loving, kind and understanding – accepting abuse after abuse, until she cannot take another kicking.
Please share this post with any mother you know suffering from Adult Child Estrangement, it’s time for us to change the narrative, with love. ❤️
Parents Grieving for Living Children
Adult Child Loss