Should I pressure my boyfriend to leave his family?
I am stuck, I don’t know what to do.
My boyfriend is still living with his ex and their young daughter.
He says it’s easier moneywise etc. I have said he needs to move out by the end of next month or we will end our relationship.
He is saying he will, but I keep feeling guilty for making him do this.
What if he regrets this and blames me? His ex doesn’t know about me, but I think she has her suspicions that he is with someone else.
I have met his daughter loads, but I keep feeling very guilty taking her dad away from her. What do I do?
Michelle Zelli says: This is messy, his lack of honesty is causing you to feel guilty.
Agony Aunt on Female First
You are understandably confusing his responsibility with your own and getting tangled up in knots. The onus in on your boyfriend to work out a respectful and honest way to handle his affairs with his ex and his daughter. I wonder why he hasn’t mentioned you? Are you sure he won’t do the same to you one day? Step back for a moment and take a good look, are you being straight with yourself about who he is? Check his relationship and honesty patterns before fully committing.
Now, having put down your boundary, you’re actually saying it’s time for him to ‘man up’ and face the implications of his choices, however hard that is. Instead of seeing yourself as the villain who’s taking him away from his daughter, turn this around. You are simply asking that he makes a choice. After all, it is not fair on any of you at the moment. Once you are together, ensure you do all you can to support him in his relationship with his Daughter and his Ex. Above all, remember that his behaviour is not about you, it is all about him. Watch his choices carefully and make yours wisely.
Michelle Zelli AKA ‘The Real Fairy Godmother.’ is a renowned international life coach. She blends her Blue Chip board-level background with spiritual wisdom and cutting edge science and has transformed her own life from a difficult and dysfunctional childhood to a successful executive. Michelle is relentless in her own mission for self-mastery and teaching others to find their own powerful path. This dedication has seen her train with the very best globally, and has since become a secret weapon for celebrities and CEOs worldwide.
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