Is it acceptable that my husband read three books on holiday?

Anonymous asks:

Do you think it’s fair for my partner to read and finish three books on holiday? I felt like I was on my own!

Michelle Zelli says: Escaping into a book is one of the most common ways to relax but can leave the partner feeling excluded and alone.

Hello Anonymous,

Agony Aunts on Female First

It’s a tricky one as there are so many variables but let’s look at some of the ways you can turn this into a positive by opening up fresh dialogue with your partner. It’s well documented that the most successful relationships are those with the best communication. Have you let him know that you would like him to be more present and connected to you? Is this just a holiday thing, or are there ways he detaches outside vacation time? The key here is balance, it’s fair to read but it’s also important to give our partners attention. Find a time when you’re together, relaxed and on good form, to mention your feelings. Start with a positive to minimise any chance of him feeling attacked. For instance “I love it when we go away together and have time for us”. Next, is to state the issue, in a no blame way. “When we were on holiday this summer I felt sad that you spent so much time with your books and less time together”. Finally finish with what you would like to propose as change. “I know you were really stressed out but wonder how I can get more time with you next time we go away?”

Be sure to open the conversation being curious as to why and how this can be changed for the good of you both. Avoid accusations, shaming, defensiveness or attack, often ways we can approach painful issues.

This could be a great new dawn for your entire relationship, not just vacay!

Michelle Zelli

Michelle Zelli AKA ‘The Real Fairy Godmother.’ is a renowned international life coach. She blends her Blue Chip board-level background with spiritual wisdom and cutting edge science and has transformed her own life from a difficult and dysfunctional childhood to a successful executive. Michelle is relentless in her own mission for self-mastery and teaching others to find their own powerful path. This dedication has seen her train with the very best globally, and has since become a secret weapon for celebrities and CEOs worldwide.

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