When I was asked by Daily Mirror to comment on the latest #strictlycomedancing shenanigans I was delighted to shed a little light.. Should we really be calling it ‘The Curse of Strictly’ or the ‘obvious of course’?

Dancing feels good, so good in fact that some, strict cultures actually ban it! Dancing can be considered overtly seductive and sexual, a temptation our mortal form cannot withstand.

When we put two adults in a competitive situation, flood with copious amounts of adrenaline, naturally resulting from the intense pressure to perform, tension will mount. Now add weeks spent relentlessly working towards a high octane shared goal. To further ignite any possible spark of chemistry there’s the mutual focus on body moves perfecting those rhythm and grooves.

Expert Dance Psychologist, Dr Peter Lovatt, at The University of Hertfordshire explains the science. “You appear to get a much bigger release of endorphins when you dance than during other forms of exercise; it also connects with the emotional centres in the brain. For many people, dancing prompts an emotional release – often that’s uncomplicated happiness, while for some it can make them cry. It’s cathartic – a letting go of pent-up emotions.”

How many situations do we find ourselves in where we are driven to free up the body? Most of us spend most of the time stuck behind a desk or infront of a screen. Strictly gives people a chance to reconnect with their true physicality, in touch with their bodies, flowing with their rhythm and that can lead to ignition of sexual energy.

Dancing is known to be a great way to break down inhibitions and enhance intimacy between humans. Spend weeks together through he highs and the lows, learning to move together, up close and personal. Add to this the time spent away from home, pressure adds intensity, strong feelings and emotional connection.

Perhaps after all we shouldn’t be surprised, nor judgemental, when SCD couples end up transgressing or even leaving their long term partners? The BBC has created a perfect recipe for passion, lust and infidelity. Which, by chance, also offers the benefit of endless headlines and publicity.

The pressures of our busy day to day lives tends to leave our relationships hungry for opportunity to spend dedicated chunks of time together. Many couples are so busy, and in demand, they have drowned out the yearning to continue learning about each other, rekindling passion and chemistry. Day to day coupledom can feel empty in comparison, when do we really get the opportunity to be immersed in the heated emotion and passion of a compelling short term shared goal? It’s easy to see how this translates into the intense drive to leave the familiarity of a long term partner, in lieu of the excitement of newly ignited intimacy offering all the fun of the (af)fair.

It’s tough to keep a long term relationship exciting and fired up, as a coach I find myself helping clients come up with new and innovative ways to keep their spark alive, igniting their shared passions and putting the investment in their relationship further up the priority list.

Familiarity may be comfortable but all too often it results in inertia, feeling taken for granted and losing the romantic spark. Strictly has the perfect recipe to up-spark clandestine couples and create potential disasters for long term relationships.

Perhaps this is the perfect opportunity to hear that wake up call and take a look at our own relationship focus and investment?


Please see the link below to the Daily Mirror article by Laura Martin.