My husband walked out on me and our two children a month ago after 12 years together.
There was no warning. He had been stressed at work but as far as I knew we were fine.
He says he doesn’t love me and was fed up trying to be who I wanted.
I loved him just as he was. It feels like he’s had a complete personality transplant.
He’s said that it’s a breakdown after having to put up with me all these years.
I’ve begged for counselling, but he says it can’t be fixed.
I am bereft and confused. What has happened? What do I do?
Michelle Zelli Says: Focus on you!
Agony Aunts on Female First
This is so tough, I am sorry to hear but you can’t force anyone to do anything and it sounds as though your husband has to find things out for himself, in his own way. If he’s having a breakdown, be supportive but hold healthy boundaries. As he is not willing to engage in counselling, encourage him to get help for himself to unravel his ‘new personality’, the causes and the implications to your family. In the meantime, it’s time to take care of you. When you’re thinking and worrying about him, you are not working on your own healing and growth. You’re likely to go through waves of emotion anger, sadness, fear and even guilt but try not to allow these to be projected on your husband. Own the feelings and allow them to surface, without a narrative, notice your own reactions and responses, beliefs and behaviours. Be a woman you are proud to be, know he may or may not, return but your happiness is your responsibility and not dependent on anyone else.
As hard as this is right now, I have seen many people use these awful shocks to up-level their own lives. Check out some good podcasts and books, even consider therapy, get to know yourself and what makes you tick as an individual. Reclaiming your personal power also teaches your children the importance of self awareness and empowerment! You go girl, I wish you every joy!
Michelle Zelli AKA ‘The Real Fairy Godmother.’ is a renowned international life coach. She blends her Blue Chip board-level background with spiritual wisdom and cutting edge science and has transformed her own life from a difficult and dysfunctional childhood to a successful executive. Michelle is relentless in her own mission for self-mastery and teaching others to find their own powerful path. This dedication has seen her train with the very best globally, and has since become a secret weapon for celebrities and CEOs worldwide.
Find out more at: michellezelli.com.
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