Anonymous asks:

I want to know why my man is sleeping on the couch. He says were fine and he’s okay but before I came and laid down he was crying…

Hi Anonymous,

Do the two of you usually have an emotionally intimate and open relationship, where you both feel you can freely express how you feel? Each couple have their own way of handling their emotions. It can be a fine line between giving someone we love the space to process what’s going on in their own time and seeming distant and even uncaring.

You could gently let him know you’re aware he’s been sad and re-enforce that you’re there to listen, hug or talk, whatever he needs. Also honour his need for space and privacy, if that’s what he chooses. On the other hand if he’s not emotionally open, it could be that he was not taught it was okay for a guy to cry. Changing childhood conditioning can take consistent reassurance, let him know you want to support him, no judgement, through thick and thin.

Finally, take this situation as an opportunity to review your own approach to emotional moments and problems, as an individual and within your relationships. Are you offering the support and holding the space as you would like it held for you? Or perhaps you find it difficult, uncomfortable to be around people who express emotion? In which case this is a great time to start making changes, which could also bring you even closer as a couple.

Michelle Zelli

Michelle Zelli AKA ‘The Real Fairy Godmother.’ is a renowned international life coach. She blends her Blue Chip board-level background with spiritual wisdom and cutting edge science and has transformed her own life from a difficult and dysfunctional childhood to a successful executive. Michelle is relentless in her own mission for self-mastery and teaching others to find their own powerful path. This dedication has seen her train with the very best globally, and has since become a secret weapon for celebrities and CEOs worldwide.