World Forgiveness Day
“As smoking is to the lungs, so is resentment to the soul; even one puff is bad for you.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert
Who are you refusing to forgive? Or maybe you think you have forgiven – but the internal churning when you think about them reminds you otherwise?
Resentment is ‘toxic anger’, a corrosive and bitter energy that will eat away at the soul. Clean anger is expressed in a fair, adult and assertive way,. Resentment leaks out of every pore, driving behaviour from the back seat and morphing you into a person you won’t much like.
A small menu of potential fall out from resentment is: Passive aggression, avoidance, sarcasm, being triggered into a crazy state, judgement, attack,
one up-man-ship and belittling. You can be drawn into all sorts of unbecoming behaviour and end up in a toxic two-step if both parties are harbouring resentment – AKA potential for the beginning of the end.
Winston Churchill famously said “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. ” Perfectly put old boy!
How do you release those deep seated, darkest, degrading resentments? Perhaps they are towards your parents, your family, your friends or your work? It is surprisingly simple to let them go, but not at all easy! You stop your victim story. Stop it right now! You may have been powerless to change the situation when you were a child but holding onto the powerlessness will just hold you stuck in adulthood. Instead take a deep breath, embark on a powerful coaching or therapy program which specialises in releasing toxic emotions… especially shame, rage, resentment. (Look out for my Instagram Live Coaching several times a week, advertised on Stories.)
Each emotion acts as a signpost, letting you know whether you’re on balance, or requiring an adjustment of the way you think, be or do. It will feel counter-intuitive to sit with the painful feelings, but allowing the stuck energy to run through your body, no story or narrative – simple, open curiosity, will help release. Expect to do this many times, after all, you’re releasing decades of stored and stuck e-motion.
You may choose to keep the people you resent in your life, if they are family for instance. It is common to believe that forgiveness will mean ‘letting them off the hook’! It’s a fallacy, when you let resentment go from past misdemeanours, you are actually liberating YOURSELF, not them. Remember Churchill’s bottle of poison? Put it down, throw it away. It’s time to detox those heavy and painful emotions, to lighten your energetic load and make space for new feelings and people in your life.
There are benefits to be had from our past, no matter how tough. We can’t change history but we can create our future. Sitting in the doo-doo pool of resentment and judgement will lower your energy, impact the quality of your life and dull your sparkle.
Today, forgive yourself first and then let go of the wrongs from others. Let them go, release from your life. Give yourself the gift of unloading, feel lighter and brighter on this designated day.
May your world be full of forgiveness…. From others, and from yourself.
Shine brightly, let nothing dull your flame.