HABITS
An addiction is a habit that is having a detrimental effect of our lives. One that we no longer have full control over.
The word ’Addiction’ brings unpleasant connotations to many of us. The ugly scenes from movies like ‘Trainspotting’, along with a myriad of other associations have demonised the word. The truth however, can be very different! The majority of people are addicted to something, it is a common, usually unconscious, strategy for making the feelings we don’t want to face go away – albeit temporarily.
I work with people addicted to shopping, internet, laptop, food, exercise, buying books, sex, TV, drugs, alcohol, work, chat rooms, pornography, relationships, holidays, soap opera’s, the list is endless.
The common thread being the thought of carrying out these ‘pleasures’ is often better than the act itself, which once done soon leaves a feeling of emptiness and unfulfillment, creating a need to re-run the pattern again.
A HABIT TAKES JUST FOUR TO SIX WEEKS TO CHANGE!
Do you ever feel restless, not sure what you want to do but know you want to avoid being still? If you sit with this feeling for ten minutes or so you will notice where the discomfort is coming from, this is the key to understanding your habits/ addictions and what is driving them.
Do you engage in a chosen distraction and whilst mid-flow start thinking about what you are going to do next? Maybe feeling anxious until you have decided upon your next move? This keeps you in a constant state of being unable to relax and is difficult for others to be around, in turn putting strain on relationships. Tension builds until you have had the desired release, you know it won’t be long before the process starts over again, often after promising yourself that you won’t be repeating that particular distraction for a while/ever/or at least again today!
Many of these outlets are harmless in moderation, it is possible to cycle through a variety of the above and behave compulsively – once we hook into a specific distraction we binge on it for a while before moving on to another. It is all the same thing. An avoidance of facing and addressing the ‘habit hole’. That feeling of emptiness and restlessness deep inside.
Although these distractions may adequately compensate for a while, there comes a time when you perhaps decide that ‘enough is enough’! You might CHOOSE to partake in any of your ‘pleasures’ but it will be out of pure choice and not need! The day we achieve this we are instantly empowered. Our lives change, possibilities and hope transform into potential and belief. As we become filled with a new lease of life and self-respect, moving forward becomes an exciting and balanced process. Easily learning to find new healthy, engaging ways of fulfillment, excitement and pleasure.
Behaviours we have given too much Power
The force of energy that goes into the upkeep, denial or resistance of a distracted/addictive/compulsive pattern is huge. It is possible to re-direct this energy and convert it to achieving goals and dreams. Moving it away from our addictions and distractions, rendering them impotent!
Imagine harnessing the power of that intensity and putting it to work in your favour, with balance and ease!
Turning it around to your advantage.
Many Counsellors seek to remove the addictive nature from the client. For the majority of people however it’s not possible to achieve such a result quickly enough to warrant the effort required. It is important to show an immediate return for the client in order to maintain motivation. However, if we are to re-define an addictive nature as a force of energy to be utilised in positive ways, the client can see immediate results, quickly becoming engaged in creating their desired future. Stepping forward confidently and happily leaving the old behaviours, along with the associated fears, behind.
Whatever we give focus to we also give our power.
Why believe what I say? Why not try this statement out for yourself? For the next 12 hours focus on only the good things in your life. Appreciate every little thing you have, from a body that automatically breathes, moves and functions through to having food on your table, the blue sky, the refreshing rain. Everything and anything that comes to you, turn into an appreciation. Let your negative thought patterns know they can return in 12 hours and you will listen to them but for now you are giving them a well deserved rest. When a negative thought appears, thank it for letting you have the information and state a reminder of the 12 hour break.
Within 12 hours your world will appear differently, you will start to notice things moving in a different direction – towards you, responding so quickly that you might be tempted to put it down to co-incidence! By giving your focus and energy to all things positive you are instantly creating an energy change that will attract exactly that back to you! Enjoy!
If you try this and have difficulty with it, please contact me for a free initial consultation, and I will be happy to go through everything with you.
