Emotional Detox

emotional detoxA few months back I had a lovely breakfast meeting with the wonderful Michelle Zelli.

I skipped along to meet her thinking we would be chatting about the latest Zadig and Voltaire summer collection, books we had read, places to visit…. you know the kind of stuff friends chat about…..

I should have known that it wasn’t to be one of those meet-ups.  You see I have known Michelle for a while now.  Not only is she my “Go to coach” but she has become a friend too and when she insisted on seeing me my twitchy radar should have gone off, it didn’t.

After talking about fashion and frolics she looked me in the eye and (without boring you with the entire conversation) told me that my mouth was uttering words that weren’t reflected in my body language.

BUSTED.

There is one person in this world I cannot fool with “I’m fine”.  That person is Michelle.

Not by chance I had the opportunity to appear in a video, to be interviewed about my life and my work.  I didn’t really want to do it but actually it was the most beautiful gift I could have received….

You see, I didn’t want to watch it.

I couldn’t bear to look at myself.

When Michelle gently encouraged me to take a look I felt sick to the stomach at what I saw unfold.

I had done (or so I thought) a great job at presenting to the outside world, what I wanted it to see.

But sitting in my PJs staring at the screen it was like I was viewing someone who was so disconnected to both herself and the outside world that I didn’t recognise her, as me.

I saw someone so scared of her own truth that she felt the need to talk her way through all the fluff, to present a polished example of someone who really had it all going right.

Enough was enough.

Read the rest of this story here.

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