Archive for the ‘Relationships and Sex’ Category
Posted: May 18th, 2010In: Addictions, Cannabis, Corporate and Career, Health & Wellbeing, Life!, New World, Relationships and Sex, The Secret, Weight
Personal re-invention is exciting, finding out who you are from the core and creating a life that perfectly reflects your vision and values brings another dimension to your world. Touch Hypnotherapy is the latest in a string of discoveries to offer the opportunity to break through old walls of fear and trepidation and re-create the life you really want.
Moving on from a relationship, down-sizing, creating a business with purpose, letting go of what no longer makes you happy - can be a time of enthralling transition. Your subconscious mind can assist you in many ways to fulfil your dreams and your potential but do you know how to access this powerful force? New change work holds the capabilities of bringing you into alignment, providing greater vision, momentum and self confidence as you tread the path with newly-ignited passion and knowing.
It is all too easy to get stuck in our old skin, it doesn’t fit us anymore, nor reflect who we truly are . We know our potential is unrealised and our life is passing by but making the shift can feel daunting.
Perhaps you have tried telling yourself not to be so silly, that you should just buckle down and be grateful for all you do have, so get on with it. In theory this sounds reasonable but what is the voice you are so busy drowning out really trying to say? How much longer are you prepared to let the years go by and refuse to listen to your inner knowing?
Having worked for years to advance your career path, create a secure financial platform and become a balanced adult the time has flown and now you are left with a feeling of ‘what next?’. Maybe you have everything you thought you wanted and still there’s a void? You can’t always put your finger on it but nonetheless you are feeling restless and a little dismayed with the life you have worked so hard to create.
Have you reached a point in your life where you thought you would be settled, sorted and satisfied, only to feel that something is missing? Maybe you know your life purpose and passion but are stuck, entrenched in current patterns and habits, held rooted to the spot and fearful of moving forward. As we make the decision to change it is time to seek clarity and straighten out the confusion, providing a strong foundation to translate our dreams into reality.
Busy schedules mean we rarely have time to invest in increasing the quality of our life. Transformational work has come a long way in the past few years and can affect positive change from the outset. Neuro Science has taught us how to create new neurological pathways, re-program our minds, dispersing fear and limiting beliefs, bringing clarity and a true sense of fulfilment.
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Posted: May 16th, 2010In: Life!, Relationships and Sex
The old film Seven Year Itch starring Marilyn Monroe may not be so far from the truth according to The Office for National Statistics. With a recent survey showing 19% of divorces occur within four years of marriage, 27% between five and nine years and 13% between fifteen and nineteen years. In the UK the average length of a marriage is around 7 years for women who married between the ages of 25 and 34.
Should we accept our fate or ensure we have the tools to navigate us through choppy relationship waters, deftly avoiding contributing to the Seven Year Itch statistics?
So what happens to the romance, love and lust? It is often over-shadowed by disillusionment rather than searching for an alternative partner. (More than 50 per cent of women cite unreasonable behaviour as a reason for divorce, as do 31 per cent of men).
Couples who have lost the joy in their relationship show a tendency to focus on their partners negative qualities, what they don’t do and what they don’t have. At the beginning we are blinded by love, worst qualities appearing acceptable as we don our rose tinted spectacles and see only the best of our lover. The first two years of a relationship are often bolstered by passionate and frequent sex, exploring each others many facets and benefiting from the powerful cocktail of sex-induced chemicals. When under the influence of this natural and blissful narcotic state we see things differently and not just our partner but the world at large suddenly seems to be more colourful and exciting.
If you are feeling a little jaded and the shine has gone off your relationship, don’t wait for the condition to become terminal, begin by agreeing to focus on only the good in each other for 24 hours. Each time your mind begins to criticise or judge the other person think of one of their best qualities.
Call an amnesty, agreeing to civil conversation and positive words only between you, even for a day will provide the space and platform to move forward from.
Research by John Gottman, one of the U.S.’s best-known relationship researchers, can predict with 94 per cent accuracy which couples will divorce, after watching them talk for a few minutes on a thorny issue. Couples who say five positive things to one negative are likely to survive.
By changing our focus we literally change the way we feel about and perceive our partner, homing in on only their negative words and behaviours is a sure fire recipe for relationship disaster! The destructive cycle can advance alarmingly quickly until resolution is reached. Check for patterns of your past relationships and historical bad times with your current partner. Are you both able to discuss your needs and feelings openly?
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Posted: Apr 19th, 2010In: Relationships and Sex
As the sun comes out it seems that love is all around. If you are feeling left out and even daunted by the dating scene, take action now and enjoy a summer romance that brings out the best in you.
Giving attention and thought to a past love can make it difficult to get back into the dating game. You might have finished with someone but can’t quite shift their memory or maybe you are nursing wounds remaining from that special person ending the relationship with you. It is easy to fall into the trap of thinking “They were the only one for me”. This, along with many other restrictive beliefs, will hold you stuck at where you are now.
You might feel pessimistic about your relationship future as you focus on what has…. could have…. and should have been. Of course it is useful to have a period of reflection, assessing all you have learned about yourself from the experience. You may also have taken time to lick your wounds but at some point you will know it is time to get back out there on the dating scene.
Dating can be daunting when we are harboring pessimism or self doubt but there are ways to make the necessary changes and make fast progress in the right direction.
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Posted: Apr 7th, 2010In: Relationships and Sex
So Tiger Woods has brought sex addiction back as a headline but do we believe it? Is it a case that some people just can’t say no and are using the framework of addiction to excuse their lack of willpower?
During sex our bodies release a powerful cocktail of chemicals that make us feel good. Some people become addicted to these chemicals and become obsessed with getting their next fix, their next sexual ‘high’. As with other addictions the body also gets used to the chemical surge, so the addict needs increasing amounts to achieve the same buzz.
Most of us however are able to enjoy the heady cocktail of chemicals sex provokes and whilst it is acknowledged that we spend a significant proportion of our time thinking about sex, it is fleeting and we are able to conduct our lives happily. This is not so for everybody!
When things start to get out of hand, with dangerous behaviour and rapidly crashing self esteem the vicious circle takes hold:
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Posted: Mar 29th, 2010In: Life!, Relationships and Sex
Are you:
- Fed up with people treating you badly?
- Tired of being put upon at work?
- Attracting potential partners who seem not to respect you?
- Unclear how to achieve the best for yourself?
- Know you are worth more but can’t quite work out what that is?
- Feeling your behaviours have a will of their own?
Have you ever embarked on a relationship with somebody who treated you in a way you knew was wrong but you allowed it to continue and accept it, in the hope it would change? Are you spending time waiting and hoping for action to demonstrate respect, kindness and love from a significant other? Or maybe you feel deep down that you deserve less than you are hoping for?
Self esteem and self respect are attractive qualities and are built by knowing the behaviours that are acceptable to us and being clear about what we truly deserve. It is important then to impart this information to those around us.
A personal boundary is a line drawn telling others what is acceptable to you., a form of protection and evidence of your self-esteem and self respect. Personal boundaries are imperative when creating good, healthy relationship.
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Posted: Mar 21st, 2010In: Relationships and Sex
Working as a relationship coach I see many people who are single and desperately searching for love in their life.
Using the same strategies and thought patterns, behaving the same way over and over, as they grit their teeth and continue the search whist constistently becoming more cynical, down-hearted and desperate.
If what you have been thinking and doing hasn’t worked, isn’t it time to think again and make some changes? The changes start with our thoughts. What do you think of yourself? How good a partner do you believe you are? How easy is it to love you? Yes, we are starting with the thoughts about you first!
You cannot have a loving relationship with anyone unless you want yourself. If you fail to respect yourself, love yourself, take care of yourself ….why would anyone else?
Now before you roll your eyes up to the ceiling, take a breath, dispel your previous beliefs and hear it again YOU HAVE TO LIKE YOU & ENJOY BEING AROUND YOU, If you don’t enjoy your own company, how can you expect anyone else to? If you fail to respect yourself – why would anyone else?
If you are not too keen on your own company you might find yourself sitting in front of the TV with a good bottle of wine rather more appealing than getting out there and making an effort to interact with the world. Sure, you can tell yourself it will all change once Summer arrives, or once you have a new job, lost some weight, or….. the list is endless! Whatever your ‘reason’ for hibernation think again, it is time to get back to the big bright world that is waiting for you.
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Posted: Feb 27th, 2010In: Corporate and Career, Life!, New World, Relationships and Sex, The Secret, Weight
Fed up with the clouds and rain? Feeling as though your life is stuck in the grey-ness?
Are you waiting for the weather to cheer up to provide you with the change in your life and the way you are feeling?
The sun always helps our feel good factor but unfortunately it does not change the issues in our lives. Prepare for the best Spring/Summer of your life by deciding what you want and making some small changes NOW!
Remember you have choice, you can choose to accept the parts of your life that are not to your liking or you can choose to change them. Take responsibility for creating the life you want and be surprised at how little effort it takes!
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Posted: Feb 22nd, 2010In: Addictions, Cannabis, Life!, Relationships and Sex, Weight
Are you aware of a feeling inside that gnaws away at you insidiously for days, transforming into a constant weight you carry around?
Have you ever wondered what that restless feeling is about and wish you could make it go away? Do you wonder how to quieten the feeling of restlessness, find internal peace, along with a quiet mind?
Have you noticed how the harder you try to resist that gnawing feeling the more invasive it becomes? Sometimes it seems to effect everything you do, often driving you to behave in ways that are off kilter with who you want to be.
Would it surprise you to know that feeling is your inner guidance letting you know that there is something in your life that is causing you to be at odds with your true identity?
Whether it’s due to nerves about a coming event or worry about a specific issue, maybe this uncomfortable feeling has an indefinable source. You might even have become so well acquainted with the feeling of unrest that you hardly notice it anymore?
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Posted: Jan 24th, 2010In: Addictions, Relationships and Sex
So Brangelina are back to Brad and Angelina, separating their merged identities and going their own ways, according to the press. The most famous and arguably glamorous couple in the world have highlighted relationship pitfalls we are all capable of ignoring during the first throws of a passionate infatuation.
It started with an affair
An auspicious way to begin any relationship. If your partner was prepared to lie to and cheat on his ex there’s an above average likelihood they will also be prepared to lie to you in the future. With mutual trust being one of the prerequisites of a strong and lasting relationship, it is not a great foundation for an honest and trusting future!
20 hour sex marathons
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Posted: Jan 22nd, 2010In: Relationships and Sex
This week I have been researching The G spot in preparation for a radio interview. I have been astounded by the confusion, conflicting data and opinions from professionals around the globe. It seems the simple questions “Does the G Spot exist?” remains unanswered. With this in mind I have added my take on this controversial bedroom conundrum, with the intention of offering some down to earth, common sense advice.
G-spotting, it seems, has become a near-global sport. In bedrooms all over the world there are women desperately hoping and men eagerly searching for this sought after trigger to apparently intense and elongated orgasms for their women.
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